John and Cathy had been living together for a couple of years. They had a loving relationship. Cathy had said that she would like to visit her parents for a holiday - in Scotland. John had agreed to this because he knew how much Cathy wanted to see them - but he didn't really want to go - he was scared. He was frightened of meeting Cathy's parents as he was worried that they may think he was not good enough for their daughter.
John's fear was affecting their relationship. He had been quiet for a while and had made nasty remarks about Cathy's parents. Cathy had no idea what's wrong with him.
John knew that he could let things go on as they were - that is to keep his feelings to himself - and go on the holiday to please Cathy, hoping that it would all work out alright somehow.
But he also knew that if he did this his fears were not going to go away. They would probable get stronger. In order to try and hide his fear - from himself and from Cathy - he might even have abused drugs or alcohol - as then he didn't feel scared. But John didn't want to do this - he knew that it will only make matters worse.
So John decided that he needed to acknowledge his fear and tell Cathy about it.
He said:
"Cathy, I need to share my feelings with you around our holiday. I'm really scared about meeting your parents. I'm nervous in case they think that I'm not good enough for you."
"I do want to go on holiday as I know how much it means for you - but I need your support so that I can work through my fears".