Diane

Diane was a 27 year old teacher. She had 2 young children, aged 5 and 3. She was divorced from their father. He lived and works abroad, and had little contact with the children.

Diane sometimes felt angry and resentful that she had to deal with the children with little or no support from their father. Sometimes when she had been tired she had snapped at her children, telling them off for things she would normally tolerate. When she had done this she felt bad about herself afterwards. She felt guilty and ashamed. She often felt lonely as well.

Diane found it difficult to bring up 2 children on her own. She hardly ever went out as it was not easy to find a baby sitter. She had a couple of friends who called in to see her occasionally, which cheered her up, although sometimes she felt jealous of them, as they were both single and had no children to look after.

When Diane felt jealous of her friends she often felt guilty at the same time. She often thought "I shouldn't be having these feelings, I'm a bad mother". In her mind Diane knews this is not true, but that knowledge didn't stop her having the feelings.

Eventually Diane realised that she needed to talk to someone about how she was feeling. She could see that her bad moods with the children were getting worse - and she didn't want that to happen. She always encouraged her class at school to talk about their emotions, so she decided that she needed to do it for herself. She knew of another teacher - Jane - in her school who was also a single mother, who seemed nice.

Diane asked Jane if she fancied going for a coffee with her sometime to chat about the problems of being a single parent. Jane agreed to this happily - "Oh, I'd love to chat to you about that" she said.

Once she had decided to talk to someone, Diane felt more positive and by chatting to Jane found that it really did help to talk about her feelings, as it seemed to help her get a better perspective on her life. Diane and Jane began to babysit for each other now and then - and that gave each of them a chance to expand their social lives.