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My relationship with my son has deteriorated to a point where I can no longer trust him or anything he tells me to be true. He is has had several appearances in court and is on probation but still refuses to admit he has a problem.
However from today I am going to claim my life back and stop his problem from dragging me down. After reading the parents pages I felt as if some of the burden had been lifted from my shoulders and placed very firmly back on his shoulders where it belongs. I will no longer plead with him to get help but will offer my support for when he choses to do so.
Thanks for your advice and support! I hope that other parents in the same situation as me find this website too.
I am going to ask him to read (as I have done,) every page on this site and then if he says he wants proper help I will support him, if not, I will step back until he is ready. He can have his gas, electricity etc. cut off, go to court over unpaid bank loans etc. I was going to cancel my holiday due in 3 weeks time in case he needed me, but instead I will leave him with the correct agency contact numbers, address and an A-Z (so he can walk there if needed,) if he needs help.
Unless you are a parent you will never know how difficult it is to watch your child suffer. One year ago he was fine, now he is on the borders of becoming a very serious user - at 22. This makes his teenage years seem a doddle!
What a great site thank you
I am a 19 year old who has an addiction to drugs and alcohol. It started when I was 13 smoking a bit of pot here and there. I stopped for 4 years and then I met a new bunch of friends who were all addicted to it, so I started again 'just for the old times', but after a while I got bored of it so I started drinking as well. I was only 17 and I was on 3 litres of cider a day and I also drank alot of vodka, and then I was smoking more ganja to get a better 'buzz'.
I have been like this for 2 years and I keep tryin to stop but with all my mates doing it every day and night I cant do it! The solution is simple isn't it? Stop chillin with my mates. I hate being alone and without my mates there is no-one else. I find myself walking down the street and I will forget what I am doing and where I am. I have got myself £700 in debt because of these addictions.
I woke up this morning and turned TV on and Kilroy was on and it was about drugs and I found myself shouting at the TV and I thought 'I am a drug and alcohol addict and I dont want to be anymore' so I got on the net and found your website and . . . . here I am, wanting to get off these substances.
I cannot thank you enough!
Thanks for your work, and I hope you keep a web presence for a long time.
I am nearly 28 with 2 kids, aged 5 and 6. As a teenager I abused myself with alcohol and cigarettes and numerous thoughts of suicide. I then went into a violent relationship with the children's father but gave them all up.
Despite receiving years of counselling at no point did I ever have things spelled out so clearly than on your website.
I needed to talk to the teenager in me, the scared 14 year old who was going out drinking too much - and maybe give her a hug. Your information put me on the road to achieving that. It was as simple as you saying - "Talk about your feelings".
I have always blamed my parents, my sister, anything for the terrible adolescence I had but all I had to do was take control and just admit my feelings. Being allowed to feel and not be held questionable was revelationary.
Also the bill of rights had some surprises for me especially the one about the right to grieve for what I didn't get that I needed.
So thank you. Thank you very much for filling the space that has been inside for such a long time. I feel like the builder who's just been given a hammer for the first time - and been building for 10 years!
Thank you again.
I am very impressed with the design and particularly the straight talking. It also warmed me to feel that what I was reading was personal through having entered my name.
I would just like to let you know that I think your site is excellent, it's one the best on drugs that I have visited as part of continual search for information that could help us to help the local community.
THANKS A LOT YOUR SITE IS THE BEST...
Too many info sites are totally and utterly impersonal, flawed with big words and poor design. No wonder people avoid such sites!!!! This one is definitely getting recommended.
It gives an insight into the life of a drug addict and is clear with it's anti-drug message. Well done to all concerned!
Looking at the information on this site has made me see that the warning signs were there all along, but I cannot do any more. Until he realises that his problem is back I cannot help him. I felt so guilty for leaving him to it but reading this site has made me realise that I can't keep turning a blind eye to this problem if only for my own sanity. His problem is now affecting my health and I will not let drugs control the lives of myself and my child. Although we do not use, they still had a hold on our life and I can see now that we have to leave.
He is now on his own and we now are getting on with our own lives - at the end of the day it is his problem and not ours and reading this site has helped me say that without guilt and mean it. Thank you again.
We are a working class family mom, dad & 2 children. Life was great until a member of my family told us that our 15 year old son had been smoking heroin for the past 6 months as you can imagine our whole world seemed like it had ended, but we had to find out what we could do about this evil drug that had taken over our sons life.
At first he denied that he took heroin and told us he only smoked cannabis at weekends although when we suggested a drugs test he agreed. So the test came back positive we was then referred to a drugs councillor who told us if my son did not want any help he could not do any thing for him,(What was this man on about our son was 15 he has no choice we do not want him to take drugs he has to get off them) At the time this is how we felt and could not understand why nobody could do any thing except our son his future was in his own hands. Fortunately he agreed to get off heroin the councillor offered methadone which we disagreed with as we thought it to be as additive as heroin, we had done some home work about drugs and had heard of a detox the councillor agreed we would have to do it at home it would be hard work as well as emotional so we took a 2 week break from our jobs in April 2002 (yes that's how long it took the councillor to set up) In the meantime our son still had his habit, so he was stealing from us and other family members those were the worse times I nearly turned my back on him those last 2 months.
The detox started the second week in April for 2 weeks,although it felt more like 2 years! But we all came through it DRUG free and a fresh start we moved about 5 miles out of the area. Our son was great every test was negative for about 3 months he started going to school again mixing with his old pals from his drug free days (cannabis at weekends) then he suddenly refused to see the councillor he said he was fine and would never take heroin again, we believed him at the time. By early Aug 2001 he was back to stealing from us and had a worst habit than before he refused help and said he liked the buzz heroin gave him by then he was just over 16.
I think it may have been about then I came across your website and read some of the comments and we decided on tough love. We told our son he was not welcome in our home also close family were told not to give him money only food if he said he was hungry we told him to get in touch with his councillor if he wanted help.Every day and night I cried wondering where he was or even if he was alive.I thank God I was strong enough for tough love because be the end of Aug/Sep he had gone to his councillor for help and was on a high dose of methadone which he drank in front of the chemist every day he rang home after his first drugs test which was negative and of course we welcomed him back with open arms. Christmas 2001 he was down to 2mls of methadone per day and he decided not to have any more.
Our son is now 17 has got a full time job brought his own moped and goes out weekends with his mates. All the above seems like a life time ago and it hasn't been even a year yet we have all come a long way and have become stronger people for it.
Thanks again for your wonderful website if I hadn't read the comments I would have found it too difficult to cope with tough love and maybe it would not be such a happy ending. THANK YOU XXX
PS Your approach is reassuring, this is very encouraging.
*********** Drug Action Team
I thought your website was wonderful, effective and full of love.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much
Not only did your site have everything I was looking for and more, it was also so easy to follow. Most of the sites I tried I gave up on because you get lost in all the links! But I stayed with yours and checked out all of them.
I know it will be a long road to recovery both for my sister and the rest of the family but I'm hoping that with all the information I gained from your site it will happen.
Thanks for producing one of the best websites I've seen