We can not control the person's behaviour - no matter how hard we try. That's a waste of time, effort and emotional energy. We simply cannot force him or her to behave how we would like them to.

Maybe you've already tried to do this Relatives and friends of problem drug/alcohol users often try to control the user's behaviour. Here's a few methods - see if you can identify with any.

Asking him or her to promise not to use drugs or alcohol any more - or to cut down.
Searching the home. Throwing away the drugs or booze.
Offering bribes, nagging, making threats, using tears etc. to try to make them stop.
Calling in reinforcements (doctor, relative, friend etc) to "talk" to the user.

There's loads more - and none of them work. Oh sure some tricks may cause the person to stop using for a few days or weeks, but in the long run they don't work. Why not? Well, it's simple: