Healthy detachment and setting boundaries work together
While you are detatching from the actions of your child
you are still accepting the responsibility of dealing with the situation by intervening in a way that best helps them.
Your detachment means that you are able . . .
To disentagle your own life and your child's life. That is, no longer relying on their being drug or alcohol-free for your own happiness and contentment.
To stop being anxious and fearful. To rebuild your own self-esteem. To be whole again.
The boundaries that you have set will . .
Ensure that by experiencing the consequences of his/her drug or alcohol abuse, your child will have a reason to stop using. When s/he did not suffer any consequences, there was no reason to stop.
Help your child to feel more secure by giving him/her clear rules to live by.
Help them to start taking responsibility for themselves.
So you and your child will be able to move forward from being an entangled web of resentment and shame - to become individuals again. Each taking responsibility for your own lives.
Now let's see how things can change
. . .