Detachment

Detachment is simple to talk about hard to practice. It means that you are not responsible FOR your child, but that you are responsible TO your child.

All parents should teach their children a healthy way of living, but no-one can force a child to behave like that - that's their choice - and their responsibility.

You can tell your child how you feel, what you believe - and then allow them to make their own decisions. That's a part of growing up - learning to take responsibility for our own lives.

So in order to detach, you need to stop:
  • probing . .
  • questioning . .
  • threatening . .
  • interrogating . .
  • bribing . .
  • nagging . .
  • policing . .
. . before you end up feeling crazy!

Also, you need to stop ENABLING your child This means that you stop trying to protect them from the consequences of their drug or alcohol abuse.
Here's some examples:

  • Writing sick notes for school
  • Hiding their behaviour from family and friends
  • Lending or giving them money
  • Pretending that nothing's wrong.

Enabling your son or daughter will help them to keep on abusing drugs or alcohol They will have no reason to stop.

In DETACHING from your child's behaviour and no longer ENABLING them, you're not abandoning them. You are not saying that you don't care. You're simply saying that you will no longer condone their behaviour.

In order to make it clear that you're not abandoning them - be sure to say that you will support them if they decide to get help in dealing with their drug or alcohol use.

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