Setting Boundaries

When you set boundaries, you are creating some ground rules.
For example:
  • Are you happy with him/her using drugs or alcohol?
  • In their room? In the home?
  • Bringing other users home?
YOU must decide what is acceptable to you and what is not. Then you can make these boundaries clear to your child (it may be best to write them down) and explain that breaking your boundaries will bring consequences.

Consequences

Then you decide what you will do if your boundaries are broken.

- What you will do if they bring drugs into your home?
  • Destroy the drugs?
  • Call the police?
  • Ban your child from your home? (if they are old enough).

- What you will do if they mix with other drug or alcohol users?
  • Restrict his/her freedom?
  • Reduce their pocket money?
  • Tell them not to visit you any more (if they are old enough).
You'll decide what the consequences will be for breaking your boundaries - and will make these clear to your child.

and . .

YOU MUST STICK TO YOUR DECISIONS

 
The changes that you make will probably not be welcomed - as you won't be playing "the game" anymore. At first, it's very likely your child will try to test your boundaries with either demanding or manipulative behaviour.

But remember your child will be VERY GOOD at manipulating you - so you must be on your guard against that!

You may need support at times like this - to encourage you to stick to your guns.

When your child sees that you will not be manipulated - and there will be consequences for breaking your boundaries - he or she might not like the situation, but you will earn their respect for standing firm.

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