TELLING YOUR PARENT HOW YOU FEEL

Now, talking to your parent about their drinking or drug use can seem pretty scary. Well, that's OK. It's alright to feel scared. But that needn't stop us doing things that we want to do - as long as we feel that it's safe to do it.

I'll repeat that because it's very important.

Only talk to your parent - if you feel that it's safe to do so.

 

You see, for some young people, talking to their parent about alcohol or drug abuse may not feel safe - they may be worried about rows, or violence. Perhaps they simply don't get on with their parent - or perhaps their parent never seems willing to listen to their concerns. Young people who have a situation like this at home should talk to someone else instead. A teacher, a friend, a relative . . . whoever they feel safe talking to.

 
Now for those young people who do feel safe talking to their parent, it's important to understand that when we talk about how we feel about their drinking or drug use - this is not a blame-game. We don't need to say "You did this!" . . . "You did that!" - because that's not what we're trying to do. Anyway - it's likely that a parent wouldn't listen - or that the talk would change into a big row. And who needs another big argument?

No we're not blaming here. We are just saying how we feel.

So - pick a time when your parent has not been drinking or taking drugs - and then tell them that you'd like to talk to them. That you have something very important to say.
Then you might say to your Mum or Dad . . .

When you leave me alone in the house - I feel abandoned.
When you meet me at school after you've been drinking - I feel embarassed.
When you bring friends home to take drugs - I feel scared.
When you fall asleep in the daytime - I feel so sad.
When you break your promises to me - I feel hurt - like I'm dying inside.

Tell your Mum or Dad what it's like for you

Tell them how you feel when you see them drunk or stoned.

Be honest. Tell them the truth. Tell them you're hurting. They need to know what their drinking or drug use is doing to YOU!

You might love your parent - but hate their drinking or drug use.
And that's OK It's alright to feel like that.

After you've told your parent how you feel - you might want to point out that things shouldn't be like this for you. You could make it clear that - although you do love your parent, you'd like to see them get some help to deal with their alcohol or drug abuse.

What we are trying to do here is to help your parent understand that their behaviour is not acceptable - and unless they get some help - you may have to take action to protect yourself.
Read the next bit to see how to do this . . .